Do you chase unavailable men?| shadow alchemy

This is a hard one to process because it’s a hard realization, aha moments come straight with no chasers!

I came to the realization that I was choosing to be available for unavailable men even beyond logic I chose to open myself up to men who hadn’t proven their worthiness…time, effort, resources…I was chasing instead of inviting love in. Call it what it is, subconscious beliefs, childhood wounds, past life karma, poor decisions whatever…this is where I was…the truth. A Hard pill to swallow when you’re used to pointing fingers all your life!

I delved deeper into this realization and the emotions that came up like shame and guilt flooded in…yet I didn’t make them wrong, judge them I just allowed them to do what emotions are supposed to…flow by. Emotions are alchemized better when you don’t resist but allow them to do what they are supposed to do, be felt.

I used to chase men…was the next realization that came through. The relief of past tense. Choosing to not be that version anymore. This meant embodying a graduated version of me…the one who was only available for what is *currently* available to receive and give her.

I was actively and subconsciously picking up experiences that disempowered me because I didn’t see anything above that. I met this version of me who didn’t believe I was enough, loveable, cherished, adored, desirable. I met her in all her essence and before she departed…she gifted me her wisdom from all her experiences and beyond.

She whispered these little words…”I love you just like this” it took a while for the words to make any sense…I let them marinate as my thinking effort spiraled down to letting go.

Suddenly the words sparked the answer within me. I just knew it. I didn’t have proof…I just knew this is what she meant…my lower self said that she loved me just like this. I finally received the love I was seeking out there.

It felt like validation, acceptance, unconditional love, allowance, freedom, approval, yes nod, enough, appreciation…and the more I leaned into these wonderful emotions I started to feel adored, cherished and loved.

The very embodiment that blocked me away from what I was truthfully seeking gifted me exactly what I needed. It was the very shadow body that freed me from the gunky, yucky, dense feelings in my body.

So now, what do I do?

I lean in more into my shadow body and allow its medicine to be my nutrition…my medicine, my north star.

Your demons are here to provide for you, are you ready to receive protection, to be cherished by your inner being?

You will soon realize you are whole when you stop chasing after halfsies.

Listen to me as I share more in prose,

I used to chase men now I chase me in poetic flow

If this resonated, I would love to dance with you some more in any of my containers. There are different portals you can find me in. Open the one that sparks your inner being the most. Juicy and wet only!

Click link to learn more about how we can work together.

See you on the other side,



The benefits of shadow work

Once you face all your demons and darkness within that was causing you to run away from yourself…from your home, once you tame them through Mental Alchemy you will feel free to dominate your mental realm however you please. Soon you will notice all those demons gathering together to be of service to your pleasure.

How could that internal work manifest externally?

🌸 Creating better boundaries

🌸 Authentic expression without worrying about how it looks

🌸Thinking, worrying less about what they’re saying about you and more about how you can evolve into a better human being

🌸 Noticing when people are wearing masks/running from themselves. (Discernment)

🌸 Upgraded quality of relationships/people that effortlessly gravitate towards you (or you start noticing the people who were already around you had missed)

🌸 You naturally start #levelingup your value system because you know all your darkness and you finally understand your soul will cause more turmoil if you don’t. So evolving becomes a lifestyle. Talk about a spiritual icon!

🌸 You take more chances & leaps towards your happiness and fulfillment even if sometimes messy.

🌸You remove people off pedestals so you can see them for who they actually are and not what your inferiority, lack of self belief, disconnection from self, and more is projecting to you. You naturally respect those who align with your core value systems consciously and unconsciously

And more…

Learn this and more at the Mental Alchemy Academy 😉 a portal that was alchemized from density for love🌸

Come inside my portal down down here

👇 👇


Find the pleasure in your pain.


Your desires have already arrived

Your job is to unravel thoughts, beliefs that are keeping you away from experiencing it right now

The moment you feel it, it’s there for you

Life is that good!

But we have been taught to suffer and to be addicted to being down and under. We don’t trust life anymore.

Some of it is because our parents, grannies and ancestors went through so much stress, survival and suffering to get us where we are. With this in mind, be grateful that you’re the chosen one to unbecoming this script for your bloodline, and the gps in your heart is leading you towards the journey of shedding that off.

Some of it could be that you had a rough start to life.

Learning new ways of thinking is hard especially if you’re used to the habit of suffering in thoughts and assumptions.

Something we might have borrowed or learnt from the beginning of our journey.

How do we learn to be light again?

Learning to pick and choose the quality of thoughts to live and embody by is a new muscle that gets to be practiced over and over again until you become it.

Becoming light after being dark for a long time is a journey of its own. There’s no quick way to get there if you want longevity and to plant roots deep within ELDORADO (your ideal state)

Abundance, prosperity, joy, bliss, relief, happiness, wellbeing is available to you right now if you allow yourself to open up to it.

One thought at a time

One assumption at a time

Trust your being to guide you in this very moment and the next

You won’t find the guidance through your mind, but through your heart.

Feeeeeeeeel it all

Numbing is just keeping you away from the relief you seek

Numbing and escaping is just blocking you from the things you want.

They are just emotions, not a death sentence.

Face it!!!

Ok, maybe better said than done.

This is why we need support, guidance and reassurance when everything around us is dim.

Vulnerability is sweet surrender. The truth is the truth don’t run away from it.

Resilience is built over time.

Just don’t do it alone.

This is why I am here for you soul babe, don’t walk by yourself .

Let’s alchemize this dense baby to something lighter!

Better yet, Meow at me “Soul Babe”


This is what hitting rock bottom taught me

(meeting my dense, shadow body)

I was dealing with inner criticism, self-doubt, shame, lack, fear, guilt, inferiority, struggle, powerlessness all at the same time for 5 years.

They call it the dark night of the soul

I woke up and realized I was living a lie.

I was disconnected from my soul.

I was living according to other people’s ideals on what success looks like.

I thought if I played along their script, I’ll finally feel loved, fulfilled and enough.

But we both know that’s backward.

Every action I took felt contrived, forced and so disconnected from my inner being.

I wasn’t in love with life.

I was chasing life.

I was never enough.

I did things so that I could prove my worth.

I created stories in my mind that boosted my ego, so that I could feel a false sense of superiority (others had to be smaller than me for me to feel successful)

I lived in my mind to the point that I bought every negative thought and experienced it.

I became disconnected from life because I was constantly living in the past…reliving the worst things that had happened.

I hadn’t laughed, genuinely in 5 years.

I created and planted roots in my dense body.

My constant worry and focus on death, losing people & imagining people thinking the worst of me was a constant blow to my quality of life

Of course naturally this spiral led me to a point where I couldn’t even bring myself to work, eat, socialize, pay bills. I was depressed to the point of debilitation.

The voices in my head were so loud!

My constant thought was, “who is gonna see me”, “what will people think”

I was giving away my power away over and over again.

I gave away my energy to things that didn’t fuel my soul.

I was killing myself slowly.

This was my crash course in dense,shadow body.

The other side of humans is often tuck away in the spiritual community because “positivity only and life is always perfect

So toxic!

The truth is, humans are created to experience both sides of the spectrum of life.

Light and dark.

To be happy and to be sad!

To be overjoyed and to be disappointed.

To be erhh and to be yasss!

Life is about experiencing all that.

Your mountain is your inbuilt success story. Do not run away from it.

You overcome it not for you only, but for those who depend on you to succeed.

Naturally by overcoming you will become wiser, more resilient and you will experience your innate power and ability to overcome.

No matter how tough it gets, this is just a room you’re passing by…gathering your information and training for your journey ahead.

It’s all about how you look at things and how you interact with your past and present reality.

Always remember, no matter how bad it looks…it is just a room.

If it feels like you’re forcing to the point of burn out and disconnecting from yourself…it is the wrong path.

Crying is healthy.

Failures are healthy.

Starting all over again is healthy.

Being honest with yourself and still choosing to love & accept yourself despite where you are (vs. the internet peeps are) is healthy.

Also, No comparison allowed, that’s disrespect to your inner child. Choose to create boundaries around what you say and think about yourself, it will save you so much energy.

Choose to love you despite where you are and you will always be ok.

Your ego will try to shame you, humiliate you, make you feel inferior, feel bad and seduce you back to the spiral but you have to be sick and tired of being sick tired.

You have to say NO! I’m done with this!!!

Are you currently in a dense, dark body right now?

Let’s work together

I don’t bite!

Private Message me “Soul Babe”

Click the button below to slay your dragon

Better yet, if you’re ready to reconnect with your soul, I suggest you tap into the portal that is calling you in.

Mental Alchemy Coursework

If you’re having a hard time connecting to your truth, the odds are you’re not being honest with yourself, your past. You’re suffering because you are living a lie.

You want help transcending this? Click button below

See you on the other side soul babe!


Feeling shame & unfulfilled?

When you are unapologetically unconditionally loving of all your shadows…the versions of you that are not in alignment with light, you free yourself from unnecessary pressure to be something you’re not.

Think about the things you do that you hide from others and sometimes yourself

How are you running away from the truth of how you’re unfolding?

Why are you numbing and escaping what is? What do you know and feel?

What do you do when no one is looking?

The truth is freeing.
It allows you to be human.
It gifts you grace, humility and forgiveness.

You’re not perfect, but guess what so is everybody else
Dance with the present moment
Sometimes you will stumble
Sometimes you will be in alignment
But remember, if it was perfect you wouldn’t be here to understand why.

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If you’re having a hard time connecting to the love within you

This is for you

If you’re noticing resistance to the truth

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Life is a very vivid dream

Your journey on this Earth is not forever so you need to start taking your heart’s desires a little more seriously before your time here runs out. We don’t know when. So now is the only time you’ve got.

Stay present and notice how you’ve been spending your energy in the last 24 hours. Is it in alignment with what you desire for yourself?

What story have you been telling yourself about your misalignment?

Your imagination is the source of your suffering as well as the source of your wellbeing. I’ll let you reflect on your own use of thought and assumptions about your third dimensional reality right now. (Your reflected reality)

How does your life feel right now?

Expansive or constricted?

What’s the source of that?

What quality of thoughts are you holding onto that are running your current narrative right now? This is the level of presence you need to get to flip the switch to a better narrative. small you is pushing you towards BIG YOU.

But first, you need to take responsibility for where you are so you can shift to a better version of you that receives better results. Nothing changes if you don’t.

Allow your soul to just play in this reality…shake off thoughts that disempower you and bring you back to density. Your mission on earth is to ascend so you might as well do whatever it takes to get up there. You are a light being so this should be easy peasy right?

You’re narrating a story in each passing moment psychically.

If you don’t like where this is going, stop, and narrate something different.

What you’re currently experiencing is not set in stone, you feel stuck because you’re making yourself stuck. In this coming moment, find a lighter perspective that allows you to alleviate yourself from your suffering!!!

Awaken your inner child, let her play. Let your imagination run free towards your goals. Your logical mind will try to pull you back into your third density but you’re light at your core, so do not let it into your driver seat. That’s your throne!!!

Your heart’s desires have already arrived, stop pushing them away. Allow them in. Allow yourself to expand, feel good and light!!!

If you’re having a hard time with your mental realm and need assistance with activating your light body to retrace your way back home to your bliss state,

Private message me, “Soul babe” when you click the button below 👇🏾

Remove the pressure to be elsewhere other than now. You have already arrived. Release the resistance to what is and just allow yourself to enjoy life right here right now. The dream is already realized.

Click button below to tap in on how you can extend grace to your present self so you can start enjoying life right now

See you on the other side!